FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
