YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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