some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
