he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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