I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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