I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
