feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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