Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
