it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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