Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
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