didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
