I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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