please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
