He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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