I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
