Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Found your dick twin last night
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
