how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
