the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
