would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
