Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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