Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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