Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
