I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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