Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I am one with the molecules
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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