the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
