using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
