he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
