she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The feeling are messing with the penis
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
