i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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