oh god the rape fog is back!
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
