His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
