how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
