Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
