So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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