This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
