i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
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