Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
sex in a hospital.. check
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
