Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
