singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
