What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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