I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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