covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
