the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
