so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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