just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
