so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
