whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
