Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
