If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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