They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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